So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
