i would punch a child for taco bell
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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