Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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