Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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