found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
