Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
high people should be assigned attendants
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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