Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
