i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Also, beer. Big fan.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
my liver is dry heaving
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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