That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
