It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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