You're my little dorito
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
