if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
