i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
