You really coming over, don't trick.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
