so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
