remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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