we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
