No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
