You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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