I bet he comes in French.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize