We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
