so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
