Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize