my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
