worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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