I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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