But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if i died would you start the facebook group?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
