so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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