"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the day after is always just damage control
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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