You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
