She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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