she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
