I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
