you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
foreskin is a definite game changer
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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