I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
