5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
