kristin has been a bad kristin
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
