the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
