there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize