I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
