My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize