I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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