Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
