why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
