i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
