She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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