you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
