So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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