Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
