Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just gargled with NyQuil
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
