The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
