Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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