I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
