We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
