he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
