like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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