I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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